10 Rules of Lomography:
1. Take your camera everywhere you go.
2. Use it anytime - day or night.
3. Lomography is not an interference in your life, but a part of it.
4. Shoot from the hip.
5. Approach the objects of your lomographic desire as close as possible.
6. Don't think.
7. Be fast.
8. You don't have to know beforehand what you've captured on film.
9. You don't have to know afterwards, either.
10. Don't worry about any rules.
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::: tikbalang at gmail dot com :::
Beer Troubleshooting
Symptom: Feet cold and wet.
Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Action: Rotate glass so that open end points towards ceiling.
Symptom: Feet warm and wet.
Fault: Improper bladder control.
Action: Stand next to nearest dog; complain about housetraining.
Symptom: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
Fault: Glass empty.
Action: Get someone to buy you another beer.
Symptom: Opposite wall covered with florescent lights.
Fault: You have fallen over backward.
Action: Have yourself lashed to the bar.
Symptom: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
Fault: You have fallen over forward.
Action: See above.
Symptom: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
Fault: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
Action: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
Symptom: Floor blurred.
Fault: You are looking through the bottom of an empty beer glass.
Action: Get someone to buy you another beer.
Symptom: Floor moving.
Fault: You are being carried out.
Action: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
Symptom: Room seems unusually dark.
Fault: Bar has closed.
Action: Confirm home address with bartender.
Symptom: Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
Fault: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
Action: Cover mouth.
Symptom: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
Fault: You are dancing on the table.
Action: Fall on someone cushy-looking.
Symptom: Beer is crystal clear.
Fault: It's water. Someone is trying to sober you up.
Action: Punch them.
Symptom: Hand hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
Fault: You've been in a fight.
Action: Apologise to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
Symptom: Don't recognise anyone, don't recognise the room you're in.
Fault: You've wandered into the wrong party.
Action: See if they have free beer.
Symptom: Your singing sounds distorted.
Fault: The beer is too weak.
Action: Have more beer until your voice improves.
Symptom: Don't remember the words to the song.
Fault: Beer is just right.
Action: Play air guitar.
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::: tikbalang at gmail dot com :::
